why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
