he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Sober January is a disaster.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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