Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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