you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
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I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
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Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.