Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
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I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
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This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out