im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.