I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
