in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
