Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?