Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY