Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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