Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
