Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
