yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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