i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
