Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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