I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
