I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize