you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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