I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just found a bag of teeth...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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