once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
