I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Too much gin, very little bucket
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
