Me too!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
