I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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