I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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