hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
