No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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