i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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