And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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