you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
