The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
