Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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