Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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