Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
