i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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