Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
