yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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