false alarm. still invincible.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize