I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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