I love black thongs
i barfeds in our rink
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
