So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize