Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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