I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
