it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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