I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
