I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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