i can't believe i had my finger in that
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
