this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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