I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
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I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
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you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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