member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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