Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize