In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my sisters under your porch take her home
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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