He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
