she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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