Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
