If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize