I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
