I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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