You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
