YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
