so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
