thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
