did you get engaged???
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
