porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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