Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm passing your future prison.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
They took my balls.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
