you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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