Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
