My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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