College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
someone owes me an orgasm
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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